Random thought with Andy

Is now Tuesday.  It was cold Monday.  It's now 1 and and it 15 degrees. I'm safety in my bed. 

I am alone that's such unexpected thing.I had friends as a kid. The i worked in restaurant i had friends. I went work at beach i gad lots friends. I got married  and learn how to  e adult with kids.

So I focus on that the friends slowly  went away. The marriage did not work we were two different people I think we would gave broken up if my judgement had not been clouded by lust.  We are friends now.

After the divorce. I did not take the time to work on my self. Many issues I pushed to  to the side. I had kids.

Then I was lonely scared afraid. So I went on a Dating app.  To find love security. I had another kid.I tried  to be father to every one. 

😊😊😞

3 kids 2 step kids.  I tried to  make it work.  I caused my kids  mental stress. I still did not deal with my issues.  That marriage failed.  

I now had extreme pressure from all sides. I couldn't do anything right. I did not maintain my friendships. So there were gone.

I have now spent years working on my issues.I have made amends with all the people i have wronged. I have peace.   

I also have so much lonlyness  I have not had a date 5 or 6 years. When I working my friends were my coworkers.

Now I cannot work i have no friends.  I try to make the best of my lonly life.