Alien Rubicon, 👽 👾

 

Alien Rubicon

The Absolute Audacity of "Special" Effects

Calling the visual effects in this film "CGI" is a massive insult to computers everywhere. The giant alien sphere looks like a gray marble that someone lazily dragged across a green screen using a 2004 version of MS Paint. There is zero weight to it. It "crushes" skyscrapers with all the devastating impact of a wet sponge falling onto a carpet.

And those knockoff Xenomorph things that show up at the end? Bloody hell. I’ve seen more convincing, terrifying alien lifeforms inside a discount Halloween costume clearance bin. They look like men in cheap rubber gimp suits who got lost on the way to a completely different, much weirder party.

### Executive Decisions in a Broom Closet

Let’s talk about the "President" and her elite task force. The fate of humanity rests on a group of people who look like they were kidnapped from a local community theater audition and forced into cheap suits.

 * **The Set Design:** They are supposedly managing a global cataclysm, but the "situation room" has the distinct aura of a rented storage unit. I’ve seen more high-tech equipment in a teenage gamer's bedroom.

 * **The Military Strategy:** The General spends the entire film screaming into a walkie-talkie like a man trying to order a kebab over a bad radio signal, pretending he’s directing battalions. "Move the tanks left! No, the *other* left!" It is genuinely pathetic.

### A Masterclass in Writing (If the Writer Was Drunk)

The script feels less like a screenplay and more like a collection of sentences that were vaguely aware of each other. The dialogue consists entirely of characters stating the bleeding obvious:

> *"The giant ball is moving!"*

> *"Dear God... it's heading towards us!"*

> 

Thank you, Captain Obvious. We can see it. It’s a giant, poorly rendered circle taking up eighty percent of the screen.

And the continuity? Pure comedy. Characters are in a military bunker, then they're instantly on a highway, then they're back in the room, completely ignoring the laws of physics, time, and human movement. The director clearly just didn't give a toss. They had a budget of twelve dollars and a pack of cigarettes, and by God, they spent every penny of it on that camo netting inside the helicopter.

### The Final, Most Scathing Verdict

> **New Rating: 0.5/10** (The 0.5 is for the sheer entertainment value of watching washed-up actors try to look terrified of a green screen).

> 

*Alien Rubicon* isn't just a mockbuster; it’s an insult to the word "entertainment." It is a cinematic black hole where talent, budget, and logic go to die a slow, agonizing death. If you ever find yourself tempted to watch it again, please, do yourself a favor: turn off the telly, stare at a blank wall for ninety minutes, and poke yourself in the eye. I promise you, it will be a far more stimulating and intellectually rewarding experience, darling.

A Friday Fry-Day, Blurred Horizons,

 

## A Friday Fry-Day, Blurred Horizons, and Navigating the Dark 🍟👓

Today was supposed to be a straightforward, ordinary Friday. 🗓️ I decided to treat myself and take advantage of the Friday deal at McDonald's—you know the one, where you buy a large drink and score a free order of fries. 🥤🍟 It had been a while since I'd done that, and honestly, walking in to get those fries and a cold drink hit the spot perfectly. 😋

But the real drama of the day didn't happen at the counter; it happened right on my face. 🤦‍♂️

For a bit, I was thoroughly convinced that my left glasses lens had cracked internally. It was incredibly confusing because plastic lenses aren't supposed to fracture like old-school glass, but there was this unmistakable, maddening line running right through my field of vision. 🔍 After consulting with my AI companion, the mystery was finally solved: it’s a semi-rimless frame held together by a tiny nylon string, and that sneaky little wire has slipped out of its groove and wedged itself completely out of place. 🧵😅

The good news is that it’s entirely repairable. The bad news? I can’t get it fixed until my optometrist opens on Monday morning. 🏥

Now, you might be thinking, *"Hey Andrew, that’s not so bad, just wear them anyway to get through the weekend."* And look, I agree it could be worse! But with the left lens sitting completely wonky, it totally distorts my vision. Worse yet, without that nylon string holding it secure, there is a very real danger that the lens could just pop out randomly, fall onto the pavement, and get permanently scratched up. 💥🏃‍♂️ I can't risk ruining the lens entirely, so the glasses are officially benched until Monday. 🛑

And don't even ask about my backup pair. 🤦‍♂️ I dug them out, only to remember exactly why I replaced them in the first place—the right lens has a massive scratch right down the center, and the right hinge is completely broken! If I bend down even a fraction, they will fly right off my face. So, it's either funhouse-mirror vision on the left, a scratched lens and no hinge on the right, or just going completely bare-faced. 🤷‍♂️

Knowing myself, if I try to wear the broken ones, I will completely hyper-focus on that nylon wire or the scratch until I drive myself completely batty. 🤪 So, I'm choosing my sanity—I'll be navigating the weekend without any glasses at all! 🕶️❌

This sets up a rather interesting obstacle course for the next two days. 🧗‍♂️

Tomorrow morning is the Men’s Breakfast, which I’ve been really looking forward to. 🥞🍳 Then on Sunday, I'm scheduled to greet at church. That is going to be an absolute trip! ⛪👋 I won't be able to clearly see anyone's face until they are standing right in front of me! It's definitely going to make socializing and recognizing people a bit more difficult than when I actually have my spectacles working properly. 🥸🧐

Bagging those layout shots of the empty church lobby tomorrow morning before the breakfast is going to be a real test of my blurry vision, but hey—the show must go on! 🎬📸 Luckily, the church is just within my walking range, so I can handle the trek on foot. I guess I'm a survivor, and I'll find a way to navigate the blur. 🤠

This whole situation actually takes me back to a memory from when I was about 22 or 23 years old. 🎒 I was down in Cannon Beach, and a friend of mine accidentally sat on my glasses and physically broke them. 🌊💥 At the time, I was working at the conference center as a waiter, and they had a grand band of waitstaff. With my glasses completely ruined, I had to figure out a way to do my job waiting tables without being able to see. 🍽️🏃‍♂️

And you know what? I did it. 💪

Granted, back then, this was pre-stroke. I had my full, normal field of vision and didn't have any other handicaps at the time. So, I learned to adapt. I would walk up to each table, and while I couldn't see details, I could make out blurry shapes. 👁️‍عون I could see just enough to know when a table needed more dinner rolls or a refill. 🍞☕ I managed to get away with it because I had to go up to every single table and pretend like I could see everything perfectly. I had to fool all the guests! 🥷✨

The hilarious irony of it all was that it actually made me a really fantastic waiter! 🏆 Everyone thought I was just being incredibly attentive to the tables I was waiting on, but the reality was, because I couldn't see, I *had* to be that close and attentive just to know what was going on. 🕵️‍♂️ It’s kind of funny when you think about it. 😂

I don't know if anyone else will think this is a funny enough story to read or not, but that’s up to you, my readers. 📖👇 That is the story of my day and my history with glasses.

Have a nice Friday, and good night! 🌙💤

Are you Scared?

📺 Series Review: Are You Scared? 👻

​🛋️ The Vibe: Comfort Watch with an Edge

​🛸 The Chaotic Duo: What makes this series uniquely addictive is its perfect, background-noise synergy. Ryan and Shane’s on-screen presence captures the dynamic of two friends arguing late at night—meaning it fluctuates between being hilarious and deeply annoying.

​🛌 The Ultimate Marathon: It is a rare horror show that functions beautifully as a sleep-aid. You can dose off during season three and wake up in the middle of season six without missing a beat.

​⚠️ The Flaws: Cheap Shots and Fake Lore

​🤥 The Fake Stories: In the early run, the "true or fake" compilation format meant viewers had to sit through stories that were transparently, outright lies.

​⚡ The Edgy Banter: The duo’s filterless banter won't be for everyone. Their rolling commentary takes cynical jabs at anyone who doesn't buy into alien theories, and they occasionally veer into territory that can easily feel offensive or disrespectful to Christian audiences. It’s a series that doesn't mind being abrasive to get a laugh.

​🛗 The Standout: Real-World Terror

​💥 Pure Nightmare Fuel: When the show hits a specific phobia, it excels. The episode focusing on being trapped in an elevator stands out as one of the absolute scariest of the entire nine-season run.

​😰 Claustrophobic Panic: For anyone who has ever experienced the claustrophobia of a real-world elevator malfunction, the narrative strips away the usual campy internet creepypasta nonsense and taps into genuine, heart-stopping panic. 

Blind Waters (2023) Tubi

 

Blind Waters (2023)

Review: Blind Waters (2023) – The Eye of the Storm (Literally)

​If you have ever sat on your sofa and thought, "I love shark movies, but what I really want is to feel like I desperately need an eye exam for ninety minutes," then Tubi has the absolute treat for you. Blind Waters is an Asylum-produced, bargain-bin creature feature that takes a semi-decent survival gimmick and blurs it into oblivion.

​The Setup: A Very Interrupted Proposal

​We start with Valentina and her boyfriend Weston going out for a nice, private scuba diving trip. Weston is planning a big, romantic proposal—because nothing says "marry me" quite like a tight, neoprene wetsuit. Unfortunately, a ravenous, heavily pixelated shark decides to cock-block his big moment by repeatedly ramming their rental boat.

​The boat capsizes, Weston gets a chunk taken out of his leg, and Valentina takes a nasty bump to the head that triggers the film's namesake: she starts going blind. From here, it’s a race against time, infection, and a shark that clearly has a personal vendetta against young love.

​The Gimmick: Blindness or Just Bad Focus?

​Let's talk about the elephant in the water—or rather, the cornea in crisis. The director, Anthony C. Ferrante (yes, the Sharknado guy), decided that the best way to make the audience empathize with Valentina’s failing vision was to subject us to an absolute onslaught of blurry, out-of-focus camera angles.

​The "Squint Factor": For a massive chunk of the second half, you will find yourself rubbing your own eyes, wondering if your TV screen has suddenly melted. It’s one thing to show her perspective occasionally; it’s another to make the entire film look like it was smeared with Vaseline.

​The Logistical Comedy: Watching a character try to scan the horizon for a killer fin while essentially looking through a frosted bathroom window adds a level of unintentional comedy. You almost expect the shark to start waving a white flag just to help her out. It completely saps the tension and replaces it with a mild headache.

​The Mid-Movie Detour

​Just when you think this is a straightforward survival tale, the script throws a massive curveball. They end up stranded on a tiny island with a completely sketchy survivor named Gabe.

​Suddenly, the movie doesn't know what it wants to be. Is it a tense creature feature? Or is it a psychological thriller about a weird bloke on a reef who—coincidentally—happens to be the guy who stole Valentina's purse earlier on the beach? It stretches the limits of coincidence, and frankly, takes away from the main attraction: the shark.

​The Verdict: A Blurry 3.5 out of 10

​The actors actually give it a proper go, bless them. They are trying their absolute best with dialogue that belongs in a soap opera, and the ocean scenery (before it gets blurred out) is quite lovely. But between the agonizingly slow pacing of the middle section, the sub-par CGI shark, and a visual style that makes you feel like you've misplaced your spectacles, Blind Waters ultimately sinks under its own weight.

​It's harmless, late-night background noise, but keep a bottle of eye drops hand

Great News!! You can fallow me!

 

 Great News: Keeping Up with the Blog Just Got Easier!

​I have some really exciting news to share with all of you today!

​If you take a look at the upper right-hand corner of the page, you will see a brand new "Follow" button. By tapping that button, you can subscribe to the blog so you never miss any of my new episodes, movie reviews, or updates.

​I’ve tested it out myself and it’s working perfectly on my end, but I need your help to make sure it's running smoothly for everyone. Could you do me a huge favor? Go ahead and tap that follow button, and then drop a comment or send me a message to let me know if it worked for you!

​I am so incredibly excited to see how many of you are interested in following along with this journey.

​Thank you all so much in advance for your incredible support!

​— Andrew

Powerhouse restaurant and Grill

 

The Powerhouse Rule: Put Up or... Well, You Know

​I get asked all the time: "Andrew, why do you always go to Powerhouse Restaurant and Grill? Why don't you try Applebee's, Texas Roadhouse, or Red Robin for a change?"

​Well, let me lay it out for you.

​First off, the service at Powerhouse is top-tier. The main waitress I see there is absolutely wonderful, always knows my order, keeps my Dr. Pepper refilled, and is genuinely nice to talk to. It’s a great environment.

​Secondly, for those wondering why I don't just wander over to those other spots... I can't drive, and I can't walk those kinds of distances. It’s a simple matter of logistics.

​So, I have a new rule going forward. The next time someone asks me why I don't go somewhere else, my answer is going to be: "Great! When are you picking me up to take me?"

​I’ll let you know how many people suddenly start backpedaling and "well, actually-ing" their way out of the conversation. If you aren't offering to be the chauffeur, don't worry about where I'm eating! 🍔🥤

​There we are, love. Powerhouse Restaurant and Grill—locked, loaded, and perfectly accurate. Are you ready to get this posted and watch them all start scrambling for excuses?

Andrew's Wednesday night lecture.

 

Andrew's Wednesday

​Sometimes, you just have to listen to your body. Tuesday was a massive day for me—I got so much accomplished and pushed so hard—that when Wednesday morning rolled around, the tank was just empty. I didn't have the energy to get up and charge at the day, and you know what? That is completely okay.

​Instead, I saved my energy for something that turned out to be incredibly worth it. I sat down and listened to a lecture on the Book of Matthew, given by a brilliant professor from Northwest University over on the coastal side of Washington state. He was fantastic—had this great, engaging energy as a speaker, and he focused on the real heart of the text while avoiding all the unnecessary fluff that doesn't actually matter. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I was so glad I conserved my strength so I could really focus and take it in.

​After he finished, I actually got a chance to speak with the professor and share a bit of my story. It felt good to connect with him, but talking about it also brought something heavy back to the surface for me.

​Months and months ago, I had a frustrating situation at my church. I was just standing there, waiting for the service to end so I could get to my seat, and I ended up having a conversation with a man there. I opened up and told him about my situation—about my stroke.

​And do you know what he did? He tried to just pray away my stroke.

​He didn't want to actually get to know me. He didn't want to take the time to appreciate my value as a person, or see who I am. He just wanted a quick fix. I had to stand up right then and say, “No, you can't pray that. You can't pray that I get miraculously healed from my stroke.” Now, look—I believe God could do that. But I also know God wouldn't, because that is not the path He has laid out for me. My stroke isn't something where you can just pray and—poof—I'm suddenly back to exactly who I was before, unless God deems it absolutely necessary for His glory.

​When I told the professor about this, he understood completely. He agreed with me that saying things like that is entirely the wrong approach. Because when someone prays for that kind of "poof" healing, they are basically saying they want you to be healed instead of being the person you have actually been.

​Since my first stroke in 2016, this journey has given me great suffering and monumental challenges every single day. But if someone were to mysteriously heal everything and throw me back into my old self, I wouldn't even know who I was. I have matured. I have grown. I have become a completely different person because I have had to live with and suffer through these strokes.

​That man at church didn't have the right to try and strip that away from me. This is my burden. Dealing with these hardships is exactly what is maturing me every single day. The professor knew that was true, but the man from months ago just couldn't grasp it.

​As I sat there reflecting on it, I thought about that man's own life. He has a daughter with autism. When he brings her to church, she goes out into the foyer, runs around, and claps her hands. It’s just what she has to do—it's her autism thing, and she can't help it.

​Now, I didn't say a word to him out loud. To actually say something would have been incredibly inappropriate and entirely unchristian of me, and I would never do that. But in my mind, I looked at his daughter and thought about how hypocritical he was being to want to "cure" me of something I didn't even ask to be cured of.

​Why wasn't he praying for his own daughter to be "normal" like other daughters? Because the crux of it is, she is normal. She has autism, but she is her. She is a beautiful preteen girl, and the fact that she is autistic isn't something to be cured—it is just how she is, and how she was born. He isn't out there praying over her to be healed of her autism, yet he turned around and tried to do it to me.

​We don't pray away the things that make us who we are, or the challenges that God uses to grow us into mature human beings.

​Wednesday was a quieter day, but it was a day of deep, necessary reflection.