Shifting Sands 63:The Silent Gallery

 

Episode 63: The Silent Gallery

## Episode 63: The Silent Gallery

The tears had soaked right through her pillow. Every time Sarah managed to drift off into a merciful sleep, she’d wake up, the cold reality hitting her all over again, and she’d cry until exhaustion claimed her once more. By the time the morning light crept into the room, the fabric beneath her cheek was heavy and damp.

She finally forced herself up, the house feeling impossibly still. She went to the bathroom, the mundane sound of the flush echoing in the quiet. When she went to the sink, she squeezed the soap dispenser and washed her hands, the routine feeling mechanical and hollow. Then, she looked in the mirror.

"I look bloody awful!" she whispered to her reflection.

Her face was puffy, her eyes red-rimmed and tired. She reached back and pulled her hair away from her face, a sharp reminder that it had only been three days since Andrew’s death. Just three days.

She wandered into the kitchen, her stomach grumbling for something familiar. She’d planned on making herself beans and toast—proper comfort food—but then her eye caught the box of Andrew’s Frosted Mini-Wheats sitting on the counter. He was always trying to get her to eat them. "You’re going to like them, Sarah, just try them," he’d always say.

She poured the cereal into a bowl with some milk and tried it. She started to cry right there at the table; he was right. They were good.

Once she finished, she put the bowl in the sink and headed for the shower room. She turned the water on, letting the heat build. She shed her clothes, dropping them into the bin, and stood under the spray for a long time, letting the steam fill the room until she could barely see.

When she finally got out, she dried herself off thoroughly. She thought about wrapping a towel around herself to walk back to the bedroom for clothes, but then she stopped. "Why bother?" she muttered to herself. "No one’s going to see me."

She strolled to her drawers, feeling the cool air on her skin. Her daily underwear consisted of the Wall Street brand; she found them so comfortable and didn't care much for fashion over function. But then, she saw the sexy pieces Andrew had bought for her—the ones she’d worn so often because she loved the look and knew he loved seeing her in them.

Today, she chose the comfortable ones. She pulled on her jeans, her bra, and then reached for a shirt. It was one of Andrew’s favorites. He’d worn it all the time, and now it hung loosely on her, smelling faintly of him.

Dressed in his memory, she went to check on Alice. The baby was already awake. As Sarah leaned over the crib, Alice’s little face lit up. She seemed to recognize the shirt immediately. She reached up a tiny hand, patting Sarah’s chest, her voice bright and babbling. "Dah-da... da-da-da-da!"

"You're a smart one, aren't you? Yes, that's Daddy’s shirt. But he won't mind that I'm wearing it," Sarah said, her voice trembling. She wondered how she could ever explain to a baby that Daddy wasn't coming home. At that age, how could Alice ever understand what "never" meant?

Sarah got Alice ready, putting her in her day clothes and feeding her. Then, she took a moment to try and make herself presentable, brushing her hair and checking the mirror one last time. She loaded Alice into the stroller and began the walk toward the beach.

The sight of Haystack Rock stole her breath. It was beautiful, but it felt like a silent monument to her loss. Alice was babbling happily, waving at the gulls as they headed toward the little coffee shop Andrew had loved. The bell chimed as they entered, and the scent of roasted beans hit her like a physical memory.

The barista, Elena, looked up with a bright smile. "Oh, little Alice! Are you here for your usual that Daddy always gets you?"

Sarah felt the air leave her lungs. She looked up at the walls, where the black-and-white photography was displayed. Every single one of them—the crashing waves, the silhouette of the rock—they were all Andrew’s.

"You knew he was the official photographer here, then?" Sarah asked.

"How could we not?" Elena said softly. "He was a little star in here, Sarah. Every time he came in, he’d sit right there at that corner table. He’d get a heart-shaped biscuit for Alice and a mocha for himself. He always had the most amazing insight into photos. He saw things the rest of us just walked right past."

Sarah sat there for a while, watching Alice gnaw on her treat. The baby was making a right mess of her outfit, but Sarah just sighed in her soft British lilt, "You're a messy one, aren't you, love?"

After about fifteen minutes, Sarah stood up to leave. She buckled Alice back into the stroller and headed for the door, but Elena called out. "Wait a second, Sarah! Dad! You’ve got the envelope?"

The manager, a kind-faced man with gray hair, stepped out from the back. "Normally, Andrew would pick this up from me," he said, handing over a thick envelope. "But since I haven’t seen him in a while... here’s the money for this month. Andrew struck a deal. Every photo on these walls is for sale. He’s funding Alice’s college education with this."

Sarah’s heart felt like it was breaking all over again. The manager reached under the counter and brought out a small, black-and-white photo of Sarah and Alice. "Andrew took this when you weren't looking. He’d sit right there at that table, put this photo out with its little backing... just so he didn't have to be far from you while he worked."

The dam finally broke. Sarah started sobbing into the paper towels Elena handed her. She thanked them for the kind invitation to their church, then pushed the stroller out the door, clutching the envelope and the little framed photo to her chest.

As they walked back home, the world felt a little less empty, knowing Andrew’s love was still looking after them from the walls of the town.